Eliminating Emotional Eating Part 3: but HOW?

Eliminate Emotional eating part three: But HOW do I sit with this emotion? 

Friday, January 09, 2015 

I realized after writing last night's blog that I mentioned deciding to sit with an emotion, but I didn't much talk about emotions that are SO intense that "sitting" doesn't seem like enough. So I'll spend a few words on some specific emotions, and how I "sit" (or otherwise process) through them. 

Sadness and sorrow: for me, I sometimes indulge these with a book or movie that plays into the feeling, and frees the tears. Bring the tissues. Leave the cannoli. Apologies for The Godfather reference - have to get my humor in. 

Anger, frustration and resentment: when it's more than a passing irritation, these can be HUGE. Especially if you have a feeling of injustice or unfairness driving it. Believe it or not, take the dog to the run. If you don't have a dog, go by yourself. Hopefully you'll have enough free space you can shout into the wind or similar. Me? I've been know to yell at God when I'm alone on a windswept slope. Once vented, it's time for the "Oh well!" of Beck fame. 

Anxiety and fear: breathing, seriously. Breathe in to a count of four. Hold for a count of four. Exhale fully, to a count of eight. Do this three or four times, and you probably have enough calm to keep going. Breathing is also good just to get a grip until you can deal with the stronger emotions, and move on to the problem-solving. 

Guilt and conflicts of emotions: when you're feeling an emotion that you don't THINK you should ever feel, and you're finding that cognitive dissonance with deeply held values - let the emotions talk to one another. Introduce reasoning, a dispassionate extra party, your observing self. The emotion you don't think you should feel (anger at someone who has power over you, irritation with someone that you actually love or who can't help themselves) needs to be acknowledged, and then the overriding positive emotions welcomed in to put the negative one (the one you were feeling guilty for feeling) into perspective. Remind yourself that you do not control when an emotion is going to pop up... and reassure yourself that it doesn't make you a bad person... because you DO love your job, respect your boss, adore your children who just stomped on your last nerve, and honor your spouse. All these emotions and feelings CAN coexist... and the stronger, more predominant ones can prevail. 

It is here where forgiveness lives... in the resolution of conflicting emotions and deeply held values and beliefs. And as the old saying goes... forgiveness is not for the sake of the forgiven! 

Today I choose: to let my feelings RESOLVE their complexity and inner conflicts, and to be WHOLE.